Youth football is an arena in which children need to hear constructive messages from their parents, even when they fumble the ball or the team loses.

Jim Thompson, Executive Director of the Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA), has some tips for parents and coaches for keeping the spirits of players high.

First is the concept of filling the "emotional tank." Compliments, praise, and positive recognition are tank fillers. Some examples of tank drainers are criticism and correction, which are specific types of feedback that should be delivered in a way that does not undermine a child's self-worth.

Balancing the tank fillers and tank drainers is a way for parents to maintain a positive sports environment.

"One of our key ideas is the Magic Ratio. If you think about things we say to players as being tank fillers and drainers, we recommend a 5:1 tank filler to tank drainer ratio. A player is better able to absorb criticism if his emotional tank has been filled," said Thompson.

Although Thompson recommends this approach for coaches, it is perhaps even more important for parents. A parent's primary responsibility revolves around making sure his or her child gains valuable lessons from the football playing experience.

The PCA offers tips and advice to parents at games:

1.       Fill your child's "Emotional Tank" through praise and positive recognition so they can play their very best.

2.       Don't give instructions to your child during the game. Let the coach correct player mistakes.

3.       Cheer good plays by both teams.

4.       Point out good calls by the officials to other parents.

5.       If an official makes a "bad" call against your team, honor the game-BE SILENT!

6.       If another parent on your team yells at an official, gently remind him or her to honor the game.

7.       Don't do anything in the heat of the moment that you will regret after the game. Ask yourself, "Will this embarrass my child or the team?"

8.       Remember to have fun! Enjoy the game.

In addition, the PCA advises parents to seek out conversations about sports with their children.

The following are suggestions for how to engage children in these conversations:

1.       Establish Your Goal-A Conversation Among Equals: Your goal is not to give advice on how to become a better athlete. It should be to engage your child in a conversation among equals, one of whom (you!) is on the side of the other.

2.       Adopt a Tell-Me-More Attitude: Listen! In many instances you may know exactly what your child can do to improve. Your goal is to get your child to talk about his sports experience, so ask rather than tell. Save your tellings for another time.

3.       Use Open-Ended Questions: Some questions lend themselves to one-word responses. Your goal is to get your child to talk at length, so ask questions that will tend to elicit longer, more thoughtful responses.

o        "What was the most enjoyable part of today's practice/game?"

o        "What worked well?"

o        "What didn't turn out so well?"

o        "What did you learn that can help you in the future?"

4.       Also Ask About Life-Lessons and Character Issues: Even if you saw the entire game, the goal is to get your child to talk about the game the way she saw it, not for you to tell her what she could have done better.

5.       Show You Are Listening: Make it obvious to your child that you are paying attention through use of nonverbal actions.

6.       Let Your Child Set the Terms: If your child wants a brief discussion, defer to his wishes. If he feels like every discussion about sports is going to be long, he'll likely begin to avoid them. Don't be afraid of silence.

7.       Connect Through Activity: Sometimes the best way to spark a conversation is through an activity that your child enjoys. Playing a board game or putting a puzzle together can allow space for a child to volunteer thoughts and feelings about the game and how he performed.

8.       Enjoy: The most important reason why you should listen to your child with a tell-me-more attitude: Because then she will want to talk to you, and as she (and you) get older, you will find there is no greater gift than a child who enjoys conversations with you.